The Wedding!!

Malin Dudes

All cleaned up – almost all of us are smiling

Waiting for the Mhendi to dry looking like a beautiful Indian Princess

Mhendi fun

My sisters so sparkly and beautiful and a blurry little niece

The ceremony

Some of the beautiful special touches – a fan with the ceremony details, a scented candle and tear hankies

We arrive in Santa Monica to the predictable clear blue sky and flowering bushes. As we pull up to the Carla’s new house she emerges from the driveway with Fraser – who looks so much like my brother that I just start crying. It’s Halloween and the costumes are almost ready – so it’s a total madhouse getting everything together and out the door for getting the candy. Once the kids are home we get to adult Halloween – first time in ten years that the Malin siblings have been able to Halloween together and it was fairly epic – there was karaoke – and Long Island ice teas because Carla and I went as Tess and Cyn from Working Girl not to be confused with Working Girls a movie that sisters should never emulate. Jesse dusted off the manaconda suit, Peter was Stuperman, Chris had dutifully dressed in a fortnite costume to twin with Anderson and Paul was trying to be teen wolf super fan but came across as something slightly more sinister. It went late and after a few weeks of not drinking landed me directly into hangover town.

Next up was some much needed sister time and final preparations for my brother’s wedding in Palm Springs. We squeezed in a visit to Disneyland and an amazing haircut by my most talented friend Amy. Then it was off to Palm Springs for the big event which was indescribably beautiful and moving. First we have to get into our Indian wear – Chris comes into the kitchen a few days before the wedding in his groomsman jacket – it looks great but he says it feels a little restricting under his arms. Really – how about slipping your feet into some high heels and then see how those tight arms feel. I mean FOR REALS? My sister and I tease Chris about what women put up with for fashion all the time never mind for a special occasion and he says why don’t you just fight the patriarchy. I mean why don’t we? The discomfort women just deal with in terms of clothing is ridiculous especially when pointed out by a man.

The Hindu ceremony involves the parents and siblings and essentially begins with a dance party. The grooms family dances and celebrates while the groom rides in on a rickshaw. This was so much fun – to look around to see everyone dancing (we were given a brief lesson just prior to Paul climbing onto the rickshaw). We danced along a path that winds past the pool and around the casitas to the wedding site where our family meets the brides family – there are rituals between the fathers and then the two father’s walk the groom down the isle – they are supposed to hold tight so the groom doesn’t run away. Once at the Mandap the groom removes his shoes and the brides family “tries” to steal them or does in fact steal them as was the case for my brother – an other tactic to keep the groom from running. The Hindu ceremony begins between the groom and the priest with more rituals and blessings and then finally the bride arrives covered by a beautiful cloth and flanked by her bridesmaids – Carla and I hold a sheet in front of Paul and then we reveal the bride to the groom. Then the marriage ceremony begins. It was intricate and beautiful with blessings from all sides and all manner. The Mandap was draped with strings of marigolds and carnations and the rugs were strewn with rose petals. There were beautiful Moroccan styled lanterns at the front corners of the Mandap. It was emotional and perfect. Nothing like a long ceremony to really cement a marriage.

Everything about the wedding from the rehearsal night where Paul and his old band played late into the night to the ceremony to the dinner and all the entertainment, flowers, music and speeches was beautiful. I had wedding withdrawal the week after it was all over. So happy to have a new sister and wish we didn’t live so far apart.